Skit for English

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Post-A-Day: Day 97

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For the past few days in English, we had to create skits using vocabulary words from a packet. This is what my group and I came up with; It’s very random.

 

A- Wow! Look at that bird perched in the tree! It is undoubtedly magnificent.

B- I do not know. It is too stout for my comfort. Just look at its fat body. Also, it is only sitting there resting. What is so magnificent about it? It looks like a rubbish eater. I feel like it is going to dive-bomb our trash when we leave.

A- Well, it is the only bird I have seen since the people opposed the government. That was not a time with prosperity and peace.

B- You mean the rebellion? Seriously! Where I live, the birds land on our heads and peck the crumbs off the floor.

C- Sounds like Manhattan.

B- Silly Samuel, Manhattan does not exist. (imaginary fourth wall shatters)

D- How do you know what Manhattan is if it does not exist?

C- What do you mean? Did it vanish? Who made it cease to exist?

A- Okay, you two, stop debating on whether or not Manhattan exists.

D- Yeah, you guys are just wasting time when you could be doing something more entertaining.

B- Fine, but you know I like starting these confusing debacles.

A- You should just find a resolution to this problem.

D- What could be a possible resolution?

B- Guys, it is just a joke. There is no problem. Ow! I think I just got hit with a windfall. Look, that is the apple that probably hit me. It also looks like an apple from an orchard.

C- You truly are a storyteller, aren’t you? How can there be an apple from a garden consisting of small, cultivated wood? Anyway, speaking of stories, want to hear one?

B- Sure, it is one of your weird, impromptu stories.

A- No.

D- Sure, but it better be an amazing story.

C- There was once a man living in a mansion. People declared the mansion was haunted but the man did not believe it. He planned to stay at the hotel for 5 days, however, he did not make it to his fifth day. On the third night of his stay, he was woken by a soft stroke upon his cheek. Straightaway, he realized he had left the window wide open.

D- Oh, I have heard of this one before.

C- No, you have not. LET ME JUST TELL MY STORY! Anyway, the man proceeded to close the window. Out of nowhere, in the corner of his eye, he noticed something strange appear. Legend has it that there was an ominous looking man dressed in a dark suit with a knife sticking out of his pocket— he seemed to be a killer. The man ran for the exit where he got ambushed by the killer. Once again, the man ran for the knoll, the Eesdeses Hill (imaginary place, do not search it on Google Maps, it does not exist). Nevertheless, the two met each other for the third time. The man was defenseless and in a restive and tense state, but he was exceptionally clever and quick-witted.

B- I have definitely heard this one.

C- As the man saw the knife coming towards his neck, an unforeseen guttural scream emerged from the bottom of his stomach. Startled, he opened his eyes, sat upright, no longer on the ground, but in the very bed he was sleeping in. Scared out of his mind, he took every possession of his and ran from the residence. He did not make it as far as he had hoped. The dark suited man – the killer – appeared and flung the knife towards the man, flying past his head by only a few inches. The killer picked up the sharp object again and headed for the man saying, “No witnesses.” The man had only just sprinted out of the old house when his leg erupted with pain. He fell to ground, immobilized, and looking over himself, he found the handle of a bronze knife protruding from his calf. As adrenaline once again rushed through him, he hesitated no longer and swiftly pulled the knife out of the back of his leg and ran, grasping the knife in his hand. In desperation, the killer did his best to retrieve the thrown knife but was too late. The man quickly stabbed the killer and left the knife in the blood pooling on the killer’s pinstripe suit. The killer attempted to retreat and go back in the house, precluding him from being caught. However, it was too late and he was apprehended. People say that he was let out not that long ago.

C- What do you think of the story?

B- That is Max Realname’s story. He told it to our class on the last day of school.

D- Can someone tell a better story?

B- Once upon a time, in a land far far away…

A- This sounds a lot like Star Wars. Exactly like Star Wars.

B- Trust me, it is not. There lived a tremendous king. His great power lead him to believe that he was on the level of the gods. He was proud of his accomplishments, and praised himself for everything he had done in his long life. Yet, he still believed his life should have amounted to more.

C- What a boring story! At least tell us what political party the king was in.

B- I do not know but his slogan or favorite saying was, “Land not under your control is enemy land.” It does not matter much to the story, though.

A- Then, why did you mention it?

B- It gets interesting, do not worry. One day, during a hunting journey, his horse advanced with nimble movements, unaware of an old arrowhead in the ground and stepped on it, embedding it in his foot. The valiant steed bucked, throwing the king off and into a tree. There, he lied dazed for a few minutes before realizing his horse had run away. He was forced to walk. About an hour of walking later, the king found a small village. He smiled at the town before realizing that this town was in a neighboring kingdom rivalled against his. Knowing that no one would recognize him, he found a quarry, full of stones and slate, in need of workers. The workers already there toiled day after day; the king knew he had to help but he had no money with him; all of his money was lost when his horse fled. The king kept walking, thinking the mine was dirty and unsanitary for him. Too many stones, slates, and other rubbish. Subsequently, he found a massive farm. The farm had three stables, but all were empty. The fields had a lot of crops on them. They had corn, tomatoes, and even bananas. The king was surprised that they did not harvest or gather their crops yet.

One day, the king found a horse grazing in his pasture. Now, he could finally have a new horse! But, there was an obstacle in his way. The horse was a mustang, a wild, vivacious horse. The king knew it would be hard to tame, but he had no other choice. He needed a steed to get back to his kingdom. The king inspected the horse from afar to see how hard of a job this would be. “This is going to be difficult,” the king proclaimed, “But, I have to make this wild horse domestic… I need to tame it.” So, the king did as he said. A great deal of improvement was made. Each day, he fed the horse, so it became comfortable with him. The king decided to add a harness to the horse, which kind of embellished the wild animal. The king pondered whether he should make this decision but eventually, the king jumped onto his new horse and they both ran into the sunset. THE END.

C- Finally, it is over.

A- Your story was awful.

D- What a stereotypical ending, but at least the story is not as bad as the first one.

C-  HEY, I HEARD THAT!

D- No, you did not.

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